Longhorn in Paradise

Linen napkins...real glass to hold your beer...warm food on fine china....unlimited beverages at no cost. That is the reality of first class on most airlines. It is something I have had the great fortune to experience on many occassions as a result of my status on the airlines...one of the few perks in the life of a travelling consultant (unless you count the endless free meals, exposure to new and interesting parts of the country/world and hotel and airline points to ensure never having to pay for a family vacation again). Well, I've said a temporary bye bye to those days on my new project...you see, with every positive, there seems to be a negative. Like when you order quesadillas, but some sour cream gets on the corner of it because it was placed so close on the plate...I hate when that happens.

Anyway, I digress. Not even sure where I am going here...oh yeah. So, the good thing is that my new project is an hour flight from Tulsa. AND it is a direct flight. The bad news is that I have to fly NWA which ranks just behind United as the shittiest airline on the planet and the plane is TINY. hmmmm...I made the word "tiny" all caps to illustrate the extent of the tininess of the plane, but maybe I should have made it a really small font to mirror the tiny nature of the plane...next time. So, the plane is tiny and there is no first class. Not only is there no first class, the seats are crammed together. Not only are the seats crammed together, it is a flight from Memphis to Tulsa or Tulsa to Memphis. Caphiche? No? OK. How do I put this delicately...you know when you are on a flight and you have an empty seat next to you...you are always looking down the aisle and wondering if that next person is going to be your aisle mate? And, if that person happens to be a hefty individual, you start to sweat a bit and then as they pass you, you breathe a sigh of relief? Well, on these flights, the sigh of relief is short lived because each and every person that gets on the plane fits a certain demographic that would make the producers of The Biggest Loser salivate. I've gotten the flu on these flights from sweating and sighing so often. As an aside, let's be honest here...people start sweating when I come down the aisle hoping I don't sit next to them...so, what we are talking about here is the aggregate of my personal girth and that of my invariably chubby neighbor. You can imagine how comfortable it is to either be crammed against the port hole or flailing halfway into the aisle as the beverage cart travels up and down. This is quite honestly the antithesis of first class. And I don't like it one bit.

So, the silver lining in these crammed trips is the fact that I am on a plane that, as I stated earlier, takes about an hour to get to and fro. Which is far superior to not flying as I did last week. You see, there is this thing that Airlines like to use when they don't have full flights...it is called "unplanned maintenance". Seen it a million times. Saw it again last Friday. I was on the last flight out of Memphis and it was cancelled...AND Liska's birthday party was the following afternoon...all flights were booked on Saturday. So, rather than risk missing/being late to Liska's party, I called National Rental Car and booked a vehicle for the 6 hour drive back to Tulsa. Let me tell you this, if you have never made the trip east to west across Arkansas...save your time. It is about as scenic as the "river" that runs behind the Lowes on Bouquet Canyon Road. Not like the river from the Brown's latest blog post...check it out (see the links to your left...my right) that was for you Greg.

Anywho, I got home, was very tired at Liska's party, but very happy to be there. It was a blast and pics will be posted on my next post which I am about to write. Didn't want to blob it in here with my rantings. So, look forward to that.

P.S. I posted a new one on my Jak's Revolution blog...endorsed Barack Obama. check it out.

Much love to all!

jak