Longhorn in Paradise

Funny you should ask how my day is going
Two children screaming right now (and they don't appear to be slowing)

Liska is screaming at me from her room
MOMMY! she cries (as if there is imminent doom)

Hagen is screaming because I've set him down
I scramble to make a smile out of his frown

Liska will not nap as she fears being alone
I could probably go get her if I had a clone

My work is never done here, I need a rest!
I'm sorry, I just had to get that off of my chest

Now that I'm done with this sad little ballad
COME HOME SOON! And don't forget to pick up the salad!

As adapted from the last e-mail I got from Kat....I'll be home soon baby!!

Jason

Growing up, I am sure that most of us had our share of fears/phobias. I, for one, was afraid of monsters or boogie men. Hollywood drove some of my other fears as a wee lad....sharks (thank you Jaws!) and nuclear war (thank you The Day After). One thing that I am quite certain I was never afraid of was flies. I feel like I have always had a comfortable relationship with these bug-eyed, hairy backed flying creatures. As a young boy, I would use them to work on my hand-eye coordination as I swatted them mercilously. Of course, Keith "Grasshopper" Carradine made the use of a fly swatter so passe when he showed us that a fly could be caught with chopsticks. That was my goal for many years following the end of the Kung Fu series. Then, in Spanish class, one of my favorite sayings was "En boca cerrada, no entran moscas." Literally translated it means "Into a closed mouth, a fly will not enter.". In other words, zip it! Then, who can forget that great song by The Flys in the mid nineties...

Heyyyyyy...what's the point of this?

Heyyyyyy...what's your favorite song...maybe we can hum along

I think you're smart, you sweet thing

Tell me your name

I'm dying here

OOOOOOh Got you where I want you...yeah

So, needless to say, I don't have any issues with flies. BUT...my daughter has developed a VERY healthy fear of flies within the past week and it has the whole Knight household perplexed and just a little bit perturbed.

I shouldn't really use the term fear as this is certainly a phobia. I'm not sure how it started, but my money is that it has something to do with the night we locked her in her closet with about 100 horse flies. But, truly, could that REALLY have an impact on a person's outlook towards flies? I just thought the buzzing sound would soothe her and put her to sleep, but turns out...not so much. She was wide-eyed rocking back and forth in the fetal position in the morning when we went to get her. I guess we learned our lesson on that one...maybe bees would have been better as they buzz louder. Next time maybe.

Anyway, I digress....Liska is deathly afraid of flies now and it is having an impact on our lives. She literally starts to scream and cry whenever she sees a fly and has to evacuate the room. And she will not enter back into the room until her superman-esque daddy strums the guitar and sings the "Anti-Fly song". I can never remember the words to the song (even though I made it up), so it is always different, but it seems to help. Though, tonight she still refused to go into the family room even after multiple renditions. So, we have had to move some of her toys into the living room and we keep a close eye out for flies so that we can divert her attention from them if they come a-buzzin'. If any of you faithful readers have ever experienced something similar, please share your story. If we don't call attention to this issue, who will?

In the reality department, it has been about 100 degrees for 2 straight weeks here in Valencia and the AC is running non-stop. This does not seem to affect Hagen's development as he is still growing (Size 2 diapers already) and he is cooing like crazy and smiling and basically being a good kid. He slept for 6 hours a couple nights ago!! So, we have adjusted his schedule to include a bath and an extra feeding right before bedtime (11pm). In other words, whatever the hell we did that night, we are going to try to keep it going. Wish us luck!!

OK. I have to spend the rest of my peaceful weekend cleaning house and folding laundry. Then, it is off to bed and another week at the salt mines. EDITOR'S NOTE: For those of you unfamilar with this hokey vernacular, I have NOT left my job as Purchasing Manager at Nestle. Salt Mines is just a euphemism for going to work. Kapiche?

I hope everyone is doing well! Much love to all and have a great week!! Another EDITOR'S NOTE...I originally had a question mark after the "I hope everyone is doing well". My lovely wife mocked my poor grammatical efforts, and thus, with tail between my legs, have decided to let my adoring fans know that I am merely just one of you...not some uber-author superhero...but, just one of you.

P.S. aren't my kids talented in addition to their undeniable beauty?? :-) Liska reading sheet music at 2 years old? Hagen belly surfing on daddy at 2 months??

Good morning to all my blog aids spread across the universe! Since I last attempted to quantify the number of regular readers, it has come to my attention that I was being VERY conservative...I had listed a number of states and foreign countries that were represented and I have been made aware that I forgot a couple...a big welcome to the states of Oklahoma and Illinois!! I guess some of our peeps in Tulsa and OK City have been keeping up with the goings on here as well as my adoring cousin in Chicago. Big shout out to Lisa and her gorgeous daughter Olivia. I believe that Olivia and Hagen are the same age difference as Lisa and I...Lisa is 2 months older than me. And she always treated me like that little brother she never had...teasing me, beating up on me and making me eat things that humans should not eat. haha Not really...well, some of it is true. I'm sure the years of therapy will someday make me whole again. :-)

So, Goodwill Hunting...what the hell does that mean? Why would this joker make that the subject of his post and then spout off about how popular his blog is in the smallest states in the Union? What gives? I thought I was going to get a review of that madcap comedy from the 90s starring Matt Damon as a math wiz....and I get this self-aggrandizing bs!!! Well, my faithful readers, if you would just show a little bit of patience, I am getting to that. And, NO, this is not a review of the movie...that would be Good Will Hunting. So, get over it. I'm talking about the search for the closest place to dump all the junk...er give away your cherished possessions to those less fortunate. As Kat and I like to do periodically, we purged some of the items in our lives that are not essential to our happiness, put them in shopping bags, loaded them into the Jeep and headed down to the Goodwill Center. As Kat likes to say, this process always makes her feel "lighter". It is a good feeling. But, as the Goodwill Receiving Clerk was taking our worldlies, something occurred to me...the power of this individual is probably least proportionate to his job perception than any other. Does that make sense? I mean, this person has the ability to tell you "we can't accept that." Bill and I dealt with that after the yard sale...with skis and a wheel barrow. So, we are all excited about making some space by getting rid of this junk...we load it up...drive all the way down there..and this guy crushes our hopes and dreams with nary a thought about it. And there is no challenge to this guy's authority. And, in general, I would say that if you thought of the jobs that people dream about having, this is one that has got to be close to, if not at, the bottom of this list. SO, I am issuing a challenge to all of you...can you think of another instance where the perception of the job is so low, yet the power so great.

Israels response to Hezbollah's kidnapping of two soldiers is so far out of line that I won't give it more than a sentence here. Unfreakin' believable. It was nice to hear that our president was once again caught cussing into a microphone he didn't realize was on. He just makes me so proud to be an american I want to scream.

But, I digress. What I really wanted to do today is tell you about my son. Hagen has morphed into some sort out of control party animal who doesn't want to sleep at all. Between Kat and I, I think we got a couple hours sleep last night combined. The little bugger would not go to sleep! It was like he was wired on coffee, but Kat did not drink any coffee yesterday!! Aack! I am so going to hit the wall hard today...probably in the next couple hours.

OK. I should get to work now. I will mention that I got a personal thank you from Jenny Regan for the shout out she got on an earlier post...I think that deserves another shout out...and, yes, Jenny, I will be coming down to visit you and Tim and Graham sometime in the near future....I promise. :-)

OK...I hope everyone had a great weekend and is ready to have a wonderful week. I must say that this is the best July 17th I have experienced year to date. :-)

Just wanted to make sure I continued to give props to those of you who have so generously given to the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation in support of my triathlon. I have gotten quite a few donations in the past couple days...Kirsten, Mom K, Chuck and Joanne...one of my premium suppliers just donated $500! It happens to be one of the charities they have been involved with for the past 9 years, so it hit home with them. :-)

Please feel free to forward the link on to people you know. There is no limit to who can participate.

Thanks again!

jak

Here is what you all have been waiting for...pics of the Knight children! These were all taken tonight...quite a busy night with a trip to the pool and baths for both Liska and Hagen. Both sweethearts are now sleeping peacefully and Kat and I are not too far behind.

Many of you have inquired as to the results of my weigh in last week...well, mind your own business would ya???!!! I have plateaud at 228, but I have high hopes for the next couple months as I begin training for the triathlon full on. Swimming, biking and running in addition to my weight training and basketball playing should really do a number on my weight. And, I am making strides at eating better as I am imagining how much easier it will be to complete the triathlon with 20-30 fewer lbs hanging on my bod.

OK. Enjoy the pics. OH, and don't forget to visit my donation website for the triathlon...just scroll down a couple posts on the blog and the link is there. I found out today that we (the Nestle team) are in fourth place behind those Disney jokers.

OK....how many people see that pic of Hagen above and want to rub his head/belly for good luck? You know you do!

Much love to all!! jak

My gosh...it has been over a week since I last posted on this god forsaken blog. Phones have been ringing off the hook...mail has been piling up...people are really paying attention to this thing and man, do they get angry when I don't post. I guess I should take these responsibilities more seriously. When a person is blessed with this much control over a person's happiness, I suppose it is in the best interest of all if he delivers. I mean, look at what Kim Jong Il did when he didn't get his fix of LIP for over a week? Very dramatic indeed!!

So, the good news is I am posting a blog today...the bad news is I am at work so do not, at this moment, have access to pictures of my beautiful children nor my gorgeous wife...and, if I have learned anything over these past couple months, it is that those pics are really the only reason any of you show up at all. Speaking of showing up...my sister, who (bless her heart) was one of the only posters in the early years of this blog, has gone missing lately. I think that she should make a triumphant return with some follow up on the neighbors SUV story. Also, I have heard from many of you in person and via e-mail that you are keeping up with the blog and, yet, I have never seen a post. It is time for you to accept your blog aid duty and post a short message so the other readers start to get a sense for the HUGENESS of this thing. That every word that is typed is being read by millions of people across the globe. Or, at least a few people across California, Texas and Michigan. :-) Maybe even London??? hmmm? Jacobsons? Are you out there?

OK. I really don't have anything interesting to discuss today. Italy won the World Cup...Tiger seems to be back to his old self...Lebron is richer than he already was...Liska is the cutest 2.5 year old on the planet...Hagen is truly a beast among 2 month olds...etc...etc...etc...

We were graced with Mom Ks presence here in Sunny SoCal last week and that was wonderful. I really got tired of watching her do the dishes all the time, but besides that...;-) She was a great help and I think she might like Hagen. They seemed to get along pretty swimmingly.

OK. Enough craziness...back to work. I have miles to go before I leave early for no apparent reason. Kat and the kids are coming down to Glendale for lunch. Can't wait!! I will attach pics to this post or a new post tonight. You won't believe how BIG Hagen's head is!!! (cue any number of lines from "So I Married an Axe Murderer").

A final quote from our very own blog aid, Neko Case...."I left the party at 3am...alone thank god!" How many of us have been there before?