Longhorn in Paradise

Is it "rolled" or "roll'd"? Regardless, the fact of the matter is that I have not blogged in quite a long time. I keep thinking of what excuse I should use to justify my absence and to keep my blog aids from just revolting and never reading LIP again....should I claim that I have been unbelievably busy and too worn out to write? Should I argue that my only free time is time with my family and I don't feel right spending that time writing a blog? Should I complain about the unbelievable odor that just permeated this hotel lounge I am sitting in? Jesus H Christ on a popsicle stick...who ordered the dead fish??

Where was I? Oh yeah...travelling sucks. In the past month, I have had my luggage lost twice...slept in airports twice and generally had shitty flights. The kind of flights that have those around me either puking or re-connecting with their god..."please god, if you stop this bird from shaking, I promise I will stop training my dogs to fight and killing those who aren't any good" (I travel with Michael Vick ALOT!) It kind of takes the glamour out of the whole travelling lifestyle. Did I tell you about the time that the pilot tried to land at Reagan National only to pull up at the last second? Then he went to Dulles to try to land and that didn't work either...so, we ended up landing at Baltimore...or the time I had to fly through Newark to get to Charlotte from D.C.? Anyone need a quick geography lesson??? Newark is NOT on the way to Charlotte from D.C. I slept on a nice, unpadded yet carpeted floor of the Newark Airport...quite an experience. I woke up and some dude named Randy was spooning me. Quite disturbing. And then, I finally made it to Charlotte and my luggage didn't...so, ol' Jak went to a client meeting in shorts, a polo shirt and sandals. A beautiful thing! I had to implore my colleagues and clients not to be distracted by my exposed legs and forearms!

So, life has been a bit hectic...on the home front, Kat and the kids are doing great. Liska might very well be the smartest person in the house now...Hagen is the most destructive...Kat is the most patient and I am the most bionic...yes, I have been rebuilt since a horrible accident on an aborted flight to the moon. Wait...that wasn't me. Check that. I am the most chubby. That is what I meant to say. See...too easily distracted.

I hope all of you are doing well. I know you want to see more serious shit out of me and my no fun blog and you want to see funny stories on my jaksbook site...and I have tons of thoughts and want to get back to that, but I am lacking the energy...but, watch out for future ramblings on immigration and gay rights...

Much love to all!

jak