Longhorn in Paradise

Have you ever seen/read the plays of Neil Simon? Many of them have a character (oftentimes the MAIN character) who is a young, neurotic Jewish kid coming of age. Remember Matthew Broderick in Biloxi Blues? Or Jonathan Silverman in Brighton Beach Memoirs...by the way, did you know they were both the same character? Eugene Morris Jerome. Classic line...when Stanley (his older brother) asks him "How horny can you get?" Eugene responds "I don't know, what's the highest score?".

Now, it may come as some surprise to you all that I know so much about Neil Simon plays that became movies. It just so happens that they are the ones that HBO played ad nauseum as I was growing up. So, whether I wanted to or not, I got to watch them numerous times and grew to love them. :-)

Anyway, what was my point with all this? I certainly wasn't just interested in getting feedback about your knowledge of Eugene Morris Jerome...oh yeah. Glad I typed in the title of the blog first as it reminded me of the point at hand...my cab ride last night with my co-worker Brett.

Brett Colbert reminds me a lot of our friend Eugene Jerome. I just told him that and he was offended...of course, when he asked me what I meant I said "you know, stereotypical jewish kid from the 50s." He didn't like that so much...but, he does. And this story will prove me out.

So, first of all, I arrived at Newark Airport at 3:20 local time yesterday...I had planned to wait for Brett until 4pm because he had indicated he already had reserved a car for our ride to Greenwich. Come to find out that when he made the reservation, they took it down for 1/1/07 rather than 12/11/06. Not quite sure how that happened, but 2 hours later, our ride was there. It took about 1.5 hours to get to the hotel and then we got a cab to the Ginger Man in downtown Greenwich. This is where the fun started....

First, Brett asked if the guy took credit cards...he said yes, but it was a $30 minimum. We asked how far the place was and he said about $21 fare, so we agreed as it is easier to use CC when travelling...so, we get about 100 yards out of the hotel parking lot and the cabbie (known to us now as Mohammed) pulls over to the side of the road...Brett immediately says (and fyi, Brett is sitting in the front seat) "what are you doing? are you going to kill us?" Mohammed assures us that he is not going to kill us over Brett continuing to ask him what he is doing. He is simply pulling out the AmEx form so Brett can fill it out on our way. He subtly indicates that there is a place on the form to indicate tip to which Brett replies "I'm not sure about that...I am very hungry and you keep stopping, so we will see". As you can see, Brett is the epitome of how to make friends and influence people.

Next. we get to Greenwich Avenue and it is pretty evident that Mohammed is lost. He asks Brett "where is the place again?", obviously looking for him to repeat the address...rather than give him the address, Brett says "I don't know...you are the one who lives here...i don't live here!". Mohammed tries to explain himself, gives up, and keeps on driving. After a few more turns, we are back on the right street. So, as we pass storefronts, Mohammed says "what are the numbers here?". Of course, Brett says emphatically "I don't know, I don't have my glasses, you have your glasses, you tell me what the numbers are!". Fortunately, we had arrived at the Ginger Man and could escape the situation.

So, had a great meal, got back to the hotel, watched some football and then talked to the hot chick that I call my wife...we actually did a crossword puzzle together over the phone...how romantic! haha

Going out to eat with my buddy Guy tonight, so will report on that tomorrow. I know how interested you all are in my travels. :-)

much love to all!

jak