Thursday, May 04, 2006
How to Assess the value of your PC
So, now that I am convinced that my sister Kirsten is the only one that is reading this blog, I will turn my attention toward some good, old-fashioned potty talk. Potty talk you ask? What does my PC have to do with potty talk. Well, to the uninitiated, PC might mean something like Personal Computer or Politically Correct. But, to me, PC will always be something that is near and dear to my heart...my Poop Closet. Yes, I said Poop Closet. Actually, Kat came up with the name, I am just the most frequent visitor. So, how do you know if you have a true PC and how do you know how good it is? I hope this post will help you answer those questions...
First, the PC has to be a half bath..no sharing space with a tub or shower. Just you, a magazine rack and the sink. Second, it is best if it is away from general traffic for obvious olfactory and auditory reasons. Those are the two musts of the PC.
Now, how do you determine if it is a top-notch PC? Well, it needs to be well-stocked with good, recent magazines. It should also have a full stash of toilet paper in easy-to-reach storage (i.e., can reach it from a sitting position). It should be somewhat spacious so you feel comfortable sitting there for a long period of time. A major bonus is its proximity to the common space of your home. Now, this may seem to contradict the point above about being away from general traffic, but if you are prairie dogging, you want to make sure you can get to your PC very quickly and with limited twists and turns. I know that if you have read this far you probably know what prairie dogging is, but if you don't, here goes...basically, your poopage is peeking out of its hole like a prairie dog poking its head out of its hole out on the, well, prairie. Which reminds me of a song the Natty Five 9s are working on right now:
I'm the PC! I'm the PC
If you're prairie doggin', come see me
If you have a monkey finger that you can't keep in
Just come sit on my porcelain
I'm the PC! yeah yeah I'm the PC!
Nothing like lyrics written from the perspective of a poop closet. :-)
So, I hope this has been helpful to my loyal reader(s). If you have any input into what would make a PC best of the best, please share.
Happy pooping!
First, the PC has to be a half bath..no sharing space with a tub or shower. Just you, a magazine rack and the sink. Second, it is best if it is away from general traffic for obvious olfactory and auditory reasons. Those are the two musts of the PC.
Now, how do you determine if it is a top-notch PC? Well, it needs to be well-stocked with good, recent magazines. It should also have a full stash of toilet paper in easy-to-reach storage (i.e., can reach it from a sitting position). It should be somewhat spacious so you feel comfortable sitting there for a long period of time. A major bonus is its proximity to the common space of your home. Now, this may seem to contradict the point above about being away from general traffic, but if you are prairie dogging, you want to make sure you can get to your PC very quickly and with limited twists and turns. I know that if you have read this far you probably know what prairie dogging is, but if you don't, here goes...basically, your poopage is peeking out of its hole like a prairie dog poking its head out of its hole out on the, well, prairie. Which reminds me of a song the Natty Five 9s are working on right now:
I'm the PC! I'm the PC
If you're prairie doggin', come see me
If you have a monkey finger that you can't keep in
Just come sit on my porcelain
I'm the PC! yeah yeah I'm the PC!
Nothing like lyrics written from the perspective of a poop closet. :-)
So, I hope this has been helpful to my loyal reader(s). If you have any input into what would make a PC best of the best, please share.
Happy pooping!
Comments:
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Jason you are in the wrong line of work. You missed your calling as an editorial writer. Where are the others reading your blog? I check it out multiple times a day waiting for your next brainstorm. Am I a blog groupie? Chris will like Kat's naming of PC and agree with your PC requirements, but he has not read your blog yet. Spencer reads it to him over the phone while he is driving home from work so it is hard to say how much he hears. I need to give him your blog address.
My neighbor's SUV has "I cheat on women" spray painted across the trunk. I think he is going to be having a bad day...was it his scorned mistress or his scorned wife that vandalized his car? hmm....a point to ponder...If it was a scorned mistress, will the wife find out about the affair when he drives away this morning? ...deep thoughts:).
My neighbor's SUV has "I cheat on women" spray painted across the trunk. I think he is going to be having a bad day...was it his scorned mistress or his scorned wife that vandalized his car? hmm....a point to ponder...If it was a scorned mistress, will the wife find out about the affair when he drives away this morning? ...deep thoughts:).
# posted by 
: 5:19 AM
: 5:19 AM
Nice--what is the PC called when it's out of doors? There are rules here about surface grumping. Due to the fact that wild animals will find and eat your droppings, and this practice will kill them, there is no dropping above ground. A hole must be dug in order to cut down on 'surface grumping'.....get it. Lets come up with a term for this catagory of PC. Thanks
# posted by : 8:47 AM
: 8:47 AM
The PC is what sold us on our home...seriously! "did you check out the backyard? wait...did you check out the pc?! Let's make an offer."
I think you are more of a "blog aid" than a groupie. :-) But, I appreciate the adulation. Yes, definitely pass on the address to Chris.
That is so incredibly dramatic about your neighbors SUV. Who would have thought that people in West U had spray paint! I wonder if the wife hired a day laborer to spray paint it on there? haha Do you know the neighbors well? I am quite certain that the other blog aids would like to know the rest of this story. So, I am hereby deputizing you as a cub reporter to determine the identity of the sprayer and the lurid story behind it. The Longhorn in Paradise blog community is counting on you! Don't let us down. ;-) I will figure out how to give you front page posting access.
That is so incredibly dramatic about your neighbors SUV. Who would have thought that people in West U had spray paint! I wonder if the wife hired a day laborer to spray paint it on there? haha Do you know the neighbors well? I am quite certain that the other blog aids would like to know the rest of this story. So, I am hereby deputizing you as a cub reporter to determine the identity of the sprayer and the lurid story behind it. The Longhorn in Paradise blog community is counting on you! Don't let us down. ;-) I will figure out how to give you front page posting access.
PM, I guess it would have to be called a PH or Poop Hole. I am guessing it would be preferable if it was next to a tree with a low hanging limb for toilet paper holding purposes. Away from the camp site, but close enough to prevent the prairie dogs from turning into monkey fingers. Maybe downwind is the right answer. Away from any poisonous plants would be preferable. I think that you should make it a project for the JDs that you are hanging out with to determine the optimum spot for the PH as their first duty. Let us know what they come up with. Best of luck!
paul - how did you get from new mexico to utah...when did you get there? why did you leave new mexico? oh the questions, i could ask. how are you reading blogs in the woods? i hope all is going well...love you and miss you. kirsten
# posted by : 8:36 PM
: 8:36 PM
don't know the neighbors, but see their house everyday. now that you deputized me as cub reporter, i need to leave no stone unturned and get the scoop:).
# posted by : 8:37 PM
: 8:37 PM
that's the spirit Kirsten...I'll send you an e-mail so you can log on and do a post...this is front page material that cannot be relegated to some lowly comments section!
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